Weird Days With The WWE
by ExtremeRainbowRaiderPrincess
Summary: Austin Roux, a new female writer for the WWE, is finding out just how strange, and funny, working for the WWE can be.
1. Chapter 1

_I own Austin Anderson and nothing else._

* * *

Austin Anderson- Who was not related to Ken Anderson- Jogged down the halls of the Dallas Arena. She had signed on with the WWE not too long ago, and just last night she had gotten a call from someone working with the WWE. She had been hired… And was being sent to RAW.

Well, she was at RAW, but still…

Anyway- As she jogged, she noticed several strange things.

#1: Jack Swagger seemed to be obsessed with bagels, since he had been running by in the opposite direction while carrying a bag of them.

#2: The Big Red Machine was in the arena… And was wearing a lilac tuxedo. That freaked her out.

#3: Had she just seen Alex Shelley in the same place as the WWE?!

And #4: The Miz liked chocolate bars, for she had seen him with a giant pile of unopened chocolate bars around him as he ate one.

And then it hit her- Well, more of she ran into him.

"Oof!" She crashed into someone before falling to the floor, somehow managing not to hit her head. "Ouch." She groaned.

"You okay, iss?" She heard a man with a Southern ask as she opened her eyes, blinking several times before focusing on the man standing near her.

_Shannon Moore? I thought the WWE let him go…_ She thought as she blinked again before smiling.

" 'M fine." She said, her Louisiana accent too strong for her own good. "Just a little sore."

He grinned and offered her his hand, which she accepted, as he helped her stand before letting go. "I'm Shannon." He said with a boyish grin.

"Austin." Austin said before realizing that between her accent and how nervous she was, it sounded like she had said 'awesome'. "As in the city in Texas."

"Oh. Austin. Cool name." He said, smiling at her.

She blushed. "Thank you." She said before clearing her throat. "Right- Sorry for bumping into you. I should've been more careful." She said, running a hand through her thick jaw-length brown hair, highlighted blue.

"No, it's fine." He said before looking at his watch. "And I've gotta run." He smiled at her again. "Hope I see you again." He said before leaving.

Austin watched him leave before turning back and blinking. _He's cuter in person than on TV…_ She thought, her eyes wide before correcting her expression and running down the halls once more. She was now very late for a meeting.

* * *

Shannon Moore, former WWE wrestler and tattoo parlor owner, made his way quickly down the hall of the Dallas Arena, rubbing a sore spot on his upper chest where Austin had crashed into him.

_Man, for such a pretty girl, she sure has a hard head._ He thought before stepping out of the way of Jack Swagger as he ran by with a bag of bagels. _And he's strange._ He thought, shaking his head before continuing on his way.

* * *

Austin entered the meeting room to find it in total disarray.

Jim Ross was chugging coffee, Jerry 'King' Lawler, Taz, and Shane McMahon shouting "Chug, chug, chug, chug." Stephanie McMahon was hiding behind her chair, her father arguing on the phone with someone. Triple H was coloring a mustache in with permanent marker on a sleeping Dusty Rhodes; and Shawn Michaels was using another permanent marker to color on the walls.

_What have I gotten myself into?_ Austin wondered.

"No! I want pink roses at ringside- NOT BLACK!" Vince McMahon roared into his phone before hanging up and standing. "EVERYBODY SIT DOWN!" He roared.

"I am seated." Triple H said, still drawing the mustache in on Dusty's face.

"SIT DOWN AND STOP DOING WHATEVER IT IS YOU'RE DOING!" Vince McMahon roared again.

Even Austin took a seat, Mr. McMahon taking a seat as well, as Dusty Rhodes awoke with a snort.

Triple H snickered but stopped as Mr. McMahon glared at him before nodding. "Welcome everyone. I hope you will welcome our newest writer as well, Austin Anderson."

Everyone looked at her and she waved sheepishly. "Hi." She said weakly.

"I knew I should have kicked Paul out of the room." Mr. McMahon grumbled before speaking up. "As I was saying; Miss Anderson is now one of our writers, so be nice to her. And I don't want to see her running from Orton any time soon- Understand?" He looked around the table to find everyone nodding in agreement. "Good. Now go do your jobs." He said, dismissing them.

Austin fled the room at the sight of Triple H picking up a sledge hammer, Stephanie hitting her forehead at the sight of one of their new writers freaking out that much. It was going to be a very long day.

* * *

_Yeah yeah, I know, two new stories up? I'll manage. Review if you want, don't if you don't. Sorry that it's so short as well- I'm publishing this on the sly..._


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: I own Austin and the taxi driver. I don't own anything else._

_A/N: If you get bored of reading stories- I have a wrestling role-play forum. OC's are welcome. Come and join. And if you're already a member... Well I've only been talking to one of you much lately. Come back you guys! Please._

* * *

Within three days of Austin becoming a writer for the WWE she had found some very strange secrets out. Currently they were in Nashville, Tennessee.

#1: Never get between Shawn Michaels and his orange juice. The man was addicted to it. Ah well, could've been worse.

#2: CM Punk was obsessed with light bulbs. She didn't know why, but he was.

#3: If someone tells you, "JR is on a coffee high, run!" then JR is on a coffee high and you should run.

#4: No one really noticed that Jack Swagger loves bagels.

#5: Never see the Undertaker before the show. He's always wearing Hannah Montana merchandise before shows.

#6: Stone Cold Steve Austin still works for the WWE- He's the effects guy. And everyone thought Matt wasn't seen while he messed with Jeff's pyrokinetics.

#7: Kane wears weird colors tuxes all the time evidently.

#8: Dusty Rhodes never looks in the mirror, and no one ever tells him when he has a permanent marker mustache on his face. Evidently that also isn't the first time that has happened.

#9: Hornswaggle steals sunglasses and sells them to Cryme Tyme.

#10: Cody Rhodes likes blackmailing people he's set up to look like they've been cheating on their spouses, etc…

Austin shook her head as she sat on her bed in her hotel room, her laptop in front of her as she typed up a storyline for RAW. She also worked on Smackdown's! storylines since, it seemed, most of the author's there liked to write only tragedy storylines.

_This is not fan fiction- Fans do NOT want to see certain things on TV!_ She thought, annoyed.

Typing out the script for Smackdown! for this week, meaning they were taping it tomorrow, she wondered just how hectic life was going to be.

* * *

The next day Austin was up bright and early, dressed in blue jeans, a mint green t-shirt, gray hoodie, black hightop sneakers. She was pulling her hair up in a sloppy bun as she ran down the hall of the hotel to the elevator, her laptop in a carrying case in her large messenger bag, which she had slung diagonally across her body.

"Hold de elevator!" Austin yelled as she doors slid shut. She stopped and winced. "Great."

Just as Austin was about to take the stairs, the doors opened again and Shannon was standing there, smiling.

"Hey." He said as she smiled.

"Hi." She said, tucking her hands into her hoodie pocket.

"You going up or down?" He asked as she stepped onto the elevator, the doors sliding shut behind her.

"Down. 'M late for work." She said, staring at her sneakers.

Shannon looked at her sneakers as well. "Nice shoes." He said, pressing the button for the ground floor as her head snapped up. She stared at him in mild surprise as he chuckled. "Don't act so surprised." He said, smiling at her before the doors opened again and he got off the elevator.

The doors closed again and Austin leaned against the wall, whistling quietly. "He's reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaly cute." She said to herself.

Soon she was on the ground floor and running through the lobby and dodging guests.

Rushing onto the sidewalk, she slid to a stop. "TAXI!" She yelled, holding her arm out.

A taxi slowed for her and she climbed in, quickly telling the taxi driver where to go before he pulled away from the hotel.

Her phone rang as she cursed in Creole before digging her phone out of her bag and answering. "Hello?" She answered, keeping track of where the taxi was. They were almost at the arena.

"Where are you? The boss is furious!" Melina hissed. Yes, in the three days she had worked for the WWE she had found one friend: Melina. Neither of them were close to almost anyone they worked with.

"'M almost dere. What's going on?" Austin asked as she heard a crash in the background.

"Oh. JR is on a coffee high- But what else is new?" Melina asked sarcastically.

"I have a new bracelet!" Maria chirped in the background.

* * *

Melina threw a bagel at Maria, which Jack Swagger went after- Why he was at the arena she didn't know.

"Just hurry- I'm going out of mine mind while being trapped with these idiots." Melina said with a roll of her eyes.

She heard a car door slam followed by jogging. "'M in de parking lot right now. Man- Dere's a lot of cars here tonight."

Melina shrugged. "It's an ECW/Smackdown! night. What did you expect? Four cars total?"

Austin laughed. "I don't know- HOLY COW! WATCH WE'RE YOU'RE GOIN'!" Austin yelled, Melina forced to hold the phone away from her ear. "Sorry," Austin said. "Jack Swagger was chasin' Maria."

"Eh- I tossed a bagel at her and he went nuts." Melina said, filing her nails.

"Ah." Austin said.

Melina saw a blur hurry past the door.

"At de boss's office- See ya' later." Austin said before hanging up.

_

* * *

_

AH! My idiot neighbors are driving me insane! I can't stand them!!! Sorry This is so short- I couldn't bring myself to write everything in one chapter. I'm working on the next chapter right now!


	3. Chapter 3

_**Very tired Extreme here. Um… Disclaimer: I own the OC's and that's it.**_

_**A/N: Sorry that I haven't updated in forever.**_

* * *

_Austin's POV._

Austin knocked on door before going inside, Shane McMahon and Stephanie McMahon-Levesque already there.

There was nothing freakier than the sight of Shane McMahon dancing to funeral music, while Stephanie McMahon-Levesque looked suspiciously like the Wicked Witch of the West.

Austin stopped and thought for a second. _Hold it- This is coming the girl who spent the last 21 years living in the bayou and had a grandmother named Pandora- Why am I calling anything weird?_ She wondered. She wasn't thinking that the bayou was weird, but she had run with a strange crowd back in Mer Rouge. Correction- She had run with the wrestling crowd, so guys who dressed up in brightly colored spandex and girls who got into more catfights than the Diva's were normal to her.

That's when she realized Stephanie was talking to her and she started to listen.

"…We're working on a storyline with you becoming a Diva…" Was what she heard before passing out.

* * *

_Stephanie's POV._

Stephanie frowned as Shane started dancing to techno music off to the right of her desk, her brother completely oblivious to the unconscious creative writer in the doorway.

Standing, she leaned over her desk to see that Austin was definitely out-cold before sitting back down and scowling.

"Shane." She said over the annoying beat of the music.

Her brother kept singing along softly to the music while dancing horribly.

"Shane." She said a little louder, scowling even worse.

Shane kept dancing.

"SHANE!" She screamed.

"WHERE?!" Shane yelped in terror, hiding behind a fake palm tree in the room.

She sighed and shook her head. What alien from what planet had dropped him off on earth?

_Gotta be Pluto._ She thought as Shane stayed behind the tree, back to singing and dancing again.

* * *

_Sound Guy POV._

The sound guy, who we will call Jed, snickered sinisterly as he put extra sugar in JR's coffee before handing the mug to the announcer. Actually… JR had been distracted by Jack Swagger juggling bagels, why Swagger was hanging around those at Smackdown! it is unknown. Anyway- The sound guy was hidden under the tablecloth for the table that held coffee, and when JR wasn't looking he slipped the extra sugar in before hiding again.

"Back into the arena! Go!" Someone hurried JR, with his coffee mug, away from catering as the sound guy, who was hidden under the tablecloth, snickered again.

You read that right.

* * *

_Melina POV._

While the Diva filled her nails, waiting until it was time for her match, a stretcher being steered by a paramedic went by, on it was Austin.

"Hold it!" Melina yelled, hurrying after the stretcher.

The stretcher stopped as Austin waved at her weakly, smiling slightly.

"What happened? Did Swagger hit you with those bagels he was juggling in catering? Or did JR start acting out of character and scare you?" Melina asked Austin.

Austin waved weakly again. "…I'm going to be a Diva." She whispered as Melina's eyes widened. "Yep, you heard right." She whispered before the paramedic wheeled the stretcher away again.

Melina leaned against the wall in disbelief. Austin Anderson? A Diva?! Oh great…

"Holy- What am I going to tell Shannon?" Melina asked herself suddenly.

A ubiquitous, well, soon-to-be ubiquitous sound guy popped out from behind a stack of crates. "Tell him that she's not Austin, but instead she's Austin's twin sister, Boston." He said, nodding slowly. No, it was not Jed.

Melina looked in the direction of the crates only to see no sound guy. "…Okay then. I think I'll find the other Diva's and let them know." She said, turning and bolting away from that section of the hall.

* * *

A black rental sedan parked outside of the hotel hours later, and a tall blonde got out of the driver's seat, large black sunglasses covering her eyes as she slammed the car door before crossing the parking lot to the hotel entrance.

She entered the hotel before pushing her sunglasses onto her forehead, looking around sullenly, before spying the elevator and pushing her sunglasses back down again before walking quickly towards the elevator.

_No sense in sticking around any longer than I need to. _She thought bitterly before stepping inside the elevator and pressing a button.

Just as the doors started sliding shut a man bolted into the elevator and almost pressed the same button as she had, but stopped when he saw it was already pressed and instead leaned against the wall of the elevator, smiling at her. "Hi. You a new Diva?" He asked her as the elevator ascended to the correct floor.

She shot him a glare from behind her sunglasses before looking forward again just as they reached their floor. "No." She said flatly before leaving the elevator, quickly walking down the hall to room 203.

He followed after her. "I'm Dave." He said, attempting to start a conversation with her. "What's your name?"

"I'm not talking to you." She snapped before knocking on the door.

He crossed his arms, smirked, and leaned against the wall. "Kind of a long name for such a pretty girl like you."

She turned red before the door opened and she was hugged.

"Viola!" The woman wailed. "I don't want to become a Diva!"

Viola stiffened before getting out of the hug and smoothing the wrinkles out of her blazer as best as she could. "Austin, please, do not draw too much attention to yourself." She said coldly.

Austin crossed her arms as she looked up at her older sister before looking at Dave. "Mr. Bautista- Nice to see you again." She said with a polite nod to Dave.

Dave smiled. "Great. I just met Viola and was about to ask her out for dinner. Would you mind if I borrowed your friend for an hour?"

Viola jerked her sunglasses off and was about to lecture Dave when Austin gave a one-shoulder shrug.

"Whatever. She's my sister- Not my friend." Austin said coldly, the sisters exchanging glares before Dave laughed, making the sister's jump.

"Great. See ya' later Austin." Dave said, wrapping an arm around Viola's shoulders and leading her away.

Austin waited until her sister and Dave were out of sight before shaking her head. "That was… Weird, to say the least." She said, shocked.

Her eyes were wide as she spotted Kane walk by in a pink tuxedo before she fled back into the safety of her room and slammed the door shut, locking it.

* * *

Wednesday was Austin's day off, but she skipped taking a day off in favor of writing her last script for RAW…

Which she currently couldn't do.

Austin tried everything. Earplugs, loud music, calling the manager heck- Even calling the cops, but nothing helped.

Nothing could block out the annoying sound of the Diva's in the next room having a chat fest.

"OMG! Me too!" She heard Kelly Kelly, also known as Barbie, yell. Austin closed her eyes and hit her forehead as she struggled to type up the requested storyline from her employers.

Opening her eyes again, she sighed. Guess it was better than having JBL in the next room since he argued with the TV.

"Like, totally." Maria said.

…Then again, maybe not.

"I mean- Who knew we all agree that pink nail polish looks better than black nail polish?" Mickie James asked.

Austin looked at her own nails, which were painted black, before shaking her head sharply and getting back to typing. Well, trying to type.

CRASH!

Scrambling off the bed, where she had been seated, she ran to the door and threw it open in time to see JR, dressed in a pink leotard and a matching pink tutu, run by. Paul Levesque, Michael Hickenbottom, John Cena, Matt Hardy, and Michael Mizinin chased after him. Why The Miz was helping she didn't know, but he was.

"Get him!" John yelled as she went back into her room and got her video camera and keycard before leaving the room and following them.

JR ran all over the hotel, scaring people, while the other men, Phil Brooks and Randy Orton joining in the chase, tried everything to stop him.

After she had started filming, Paul attempted to tackle JR, but instead ended up tackling Finlay, who started yelling at him; Michael tried to distract him long enough for John and Randy to grab him- That left Michael locked in a broom closet and John and Randy crashing into Umaga… Who then started chasing them. Matt and The Miz tried to use obstacles such as brooms and the carts the maid's used to slow him down, but he used them against the guys, and eventually skated away on one of the carts. Now it was just Phil and Austin chasing him.

"You!" He yelled at her as she was still filming. "Find out where Umaga is and get him to go after JR!"

Austin nodded, running off to find Umaga.

It didn't take long for her to find Umaga, since there was a bunch of Umaga-size holes in the walls.

That and where Umaga was, Randy and John were.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" The two men ran by, Umaga right behind them, while Austin followed Umaga.

_How am I supposed to get him to go after JR? _She wondered as she ran. _Oh yeah- I know something._

Austin ran faster, still recording, until she was running next to Umaga. Even she wasn't quite sure how she did it, but she had. Anyway-

"Tag! You're it!" She yelled, tapping Umaga, before running away.

Umaga growled, chasing Austin now.

_Stupid! I am going to be in so much trouble when this is over!_ She thought before she was forced to slide to a stop as JR ran by.

She started chasing JR, Umaga behind her, and Phil behind him, before Umaga lunged, attempting to tag her. Instead he tagged JR.

"Tag! You're it!" He yelled, running away.

JR stopped as Umaga ran away. "What's with him?" He asked as Austin sat down, suddenly very tired.

"What's wrong with him? Speak for yourself!" She said, taking deep breaths as Phil leaned against a nearby wall that was still intact and void of any Umaga-size holes.

CRASH!

Make that it had been void of any Umaga-size holes.

"Hmph. You young people just have no fashion sense." JR said, marching away.

Austin looked at Phil. "Did he really just say that?" She asked him.

Phil nodded before sitting as well. Okay, so Wednesday was a strange day as well. Who knew?

* * *

_**Done with that chapter. Review if you want, but you don't have to.**_


	4. Chapter 5: I'm Baaaaaack

**_Disclaimer: I own the OC's and nothing else._**

**_Author's Note: This story has nothing to do with the Hell's Security Series. In fact, Hell's Security does not exist in this story._**

* * *

Well, after a week Austin finally felt a bit better, she was even writing in her journal* now! (*Note, Austin did not have a journal up until four days ago).

_Dear journal, _her first entry said, _today I learned that hiding from Mrs. McMahon-Levesque is impossible to do._

It was the truth. Austin had gone to the local movie theater [it was 8 PM on a Thursday], dressed in a yellow t-shirt, jeans, sneakers, and a gray hoodie, to hide from Stephanie. Why do I mention what she was wearing? Because Austin never wore yellow.

Stephanie, who was a master of disappearing acts, suspected that Austin would try hiding from her, so she had her followed…

…By Cody Runnels [Rhodes].

Austin saw _Cloudy, With A Chance Of Meatballs_, not quite sure what possessed her to do so, but she saw it anyway.

Cody had taken a seat two rows, and eight seats to the right, back from her, watching her more than the movie.

He caught every confused look, every laugh, every smile of hers and tucked those images into the back of his mind. She was so beautiful to him…

_Wait, what I am I thinking?!_ He thought in horror, hitting his forehead.

A scuffling noise made him look away from her before looking back. She was gone.

"Darn it," he muttered softly, quickly leaving his seat and going down the aisle, stopping at her row.

Austin straightened. She had been leaning over to check her purse. She saw him and gave him a confused smile before settling back in her seat, her eyes on the theater screen.

Cody sighed, running a hand through his short hair, before going down the row and taking a seat near her. There was only one seat between them.

Cody tried, and failed, to focus on the movie. She was just so… Interesting.

"And the lion fell in love with the lamb…" Austin muttered.

"What?" Cody asked, looking at her in time to see her smile mischievously, her eyes still on the screen.

People nearby shushed him with hisses as she watched the rest of the movie, his eyes still on her.

Frustrated that he couldn't talk to her right now, but curious as to why she had said that, he returned his gaze to the screen, watching the rest of the movie play out with her.

Soon the movie was over and he was escorting her through the dark parking lot to her Dually truck.

She had her hands tucked into her hoodie pockets as she walked, looking up at the dark night sky. Seeing that she wasn't paying that much attention, Cody put one arm around her waist and led her around a parked car.

She noticed that, but only glanced at him briefly before looking at the sky.

"Aren't they incredible?" She breathed.

He looked at the sky briefly before looking down again. "What? The stars? Yeah, they are incredible."

Austin giggled, a musical noise, before looking down. "When I was little my older brother would take me and my younger brother to the park during twilight so that we could look at the stars. My brother's always found the large constellations, but I always found the smaller, subtler ones."

Cody smiled, somehow believing her, even though he had not spoken to her up until this moment.

The ringing of his phone ruined the happy moment as they reached her truck. He withdrew his arm to answer his phone as she turned away.

Her face fell as she unlocked her truck, opening the door and climbing as Cody said, "Okay, gotcha. See you later," before hanging up his phone.

She slammed the door with more force the necessary before starting the truck and rolling down the window.

He leaned in, resting his forearms on the windowsill. "So… Same time Saturday?" He asked her with a dazzling smile.

Austin blinked. _Did I just find the real Edward Cullen?!_ She wondered in shock as she cleared her suddenly dry throat before answering. "Um, I can't." She said quietly, looking at the steering wheel so as not to see his crestfallen gaze.

"Why not? If I may ask." He asked, his blue eyes child-like.

Austin looked at him again with a sheepish smile. "I'm going to dinner with my family. My sister just got engaged." She said.

Cody, surprised, said the only thing that he could: "Oh."

There was an awkward pause before he took his arms off the windowsill, clearing his throat as he stepped back. "Well, tell your sister I said congrats. Have fun," he said as he put his hands in his jean pockets.

She nodded slowly. "Thank you."

He smiled. "Good night Austin, and next time you quote _Twilight_, try a lesser-known quote," he said, turning to go.

After recovering from her brief moment of shock due to him recognizing the quote, she spoke again. "But I'm free the same time on Sunday." She said, surprising both of them as he stopped before turning around.

"Oh really?" He asked, approaching the truck once more. "And why is that?"

Austin smiled, fluttering her eyelashes at him. "I have to have a reason?"

Cody coughed, shocked by her obvious flirting, as she laughed before he answered her. "Well, no. It's just that I expected that a pretty gal like yourself would have a packed schedule during the weekend."

Austin laughed. "What rumors have you been listening to? The ones Matt K. has been telling?" She asked him with a smirk.

Cody laughed. "What? No, never. What's your cell number? I'll give you a call when I find out if my schedule is free." He said as he got his phone out.

Austin, with cat-like reflexes, snatched his phone away, programming her number in as he watched her fingers. How could he have missed that she had so delicate hands? Or that she had short nails with bright orange nail polish on them?

"Here," Austin handed his phone back to him as he looked at the number before looking up at her again. "See you later Cody." She said with a wink before throwing her truck into reverse and backing out of the parking spot.

Cody watched her drive away as he waved before turning and jogging through the parking lot to his bright blue sports car.

It started to rain as he climbed into the car, starting it before driving away from the theater, his mind racing. His schedule had to be free.

_Note to self: Talk some sense into Korklan._ He mentally noted as he drove towards the hotel.

* * *

Austin reached the hotel and climbed out of her truck with a sigh, slamming the door shut and locking the truck before entering the hotel.

Thunder rumbled as lightning flashed, Austin's back to the light show as she texted her older sister on her phone.

_What r u up 2?_ Austin asked via text, rolling her eyes as she knew the answer was going to have something to do with planning the wedding.

_Lol!_ Was the answer.

Austin waited for the elevator as she raised a slender eyebrow before texting back, _'Lol'? What?_

The doors opened with a BING as Austin looked up, shocked to see Shannon Moore leaning against the back of the elevator, his arms crossed.

_Breath. Breath. Make eyes smaller. Breath._ Austin thought as her eyes returned to their normal size before she entered the elevator, pressing the button for her floor. _Floor #13, how charming. _She thought wryly as Shannon cleared his throat.

Austin looked at him, curious, before Viola texted back.

_Oh. _Austin smirked as she could just see her sister's annoyed face in the back of her mind. _I thought u were Dave._

"Bleck!" Austin said before she realized what she had said and clapped one hand over her mouth. "Oops." Was her muffled response.

Shannon raised an eyebrow at her. " 'Bleck'? What? Am I that ugly?" He asked her as the elevator ascended slowly.

Austin lowered her hand. "What? Of course not." She said, texting her sister back, _Hahaha- U were wrong!_

She stopped as her eyes widened again, Shannon chuckling. "That's nice to hear." He said as she shook her head before the doors opened, Ted DiBiase Jr. getting on.

They were only at floor #7.

_THANK GOD!_ She thought as Ted started talking to Shannon about tattoos, seems to be Ted was thinking about getting one, before they reached her floor and she bolted off the elevator, running down the hall to her room.

She bolted inside, slamming the door shut and resting against it, panicking. She listened for a few moments to hear if he, meaning Shannon, had followed her, before she sighed in relief, taking a step away from the door.

With a chuckle, she reached for the light switch.

"Do not turn on the light my love." A familiar voice said as she froze, panicking.

_What do I do? Right. S.I.N.G. _She thought, ready for a fight as she backed away towards the door.

The man rushed towards her, pinning her against the door as he held her close, her face pressed against his leather jacket.

"…Meep…" She squeaked.

"Oh, sorry," he said, letting go of her before taking a step back.

"S- Stay back. I know jujitsu!" Austin warned, blindly grabbing for the doorknob. She just hoped that the man wouldn't see through her blatant lie.

"I know that," he said as she froze again. "I also know that your favorite flowers are roses, you like maple candy, and you hate primates."

"Roses?" She mouthed silently as he stepped closer.

"You are the epitome of perfection, poise, grace, and beauty," he said, touching her cheek lightly before leaning in and kissing her.

Austin shoved him away before jerking the door open and running into the hall, screaming, "HELP!"

The man rushed from the room as Austin crashed into Matt Hardy, Jeff taking one look at her before yelling, "Hey you- Stop!" And taking off after the man.

"Are you okay?" Was all Matt had to ask before Austin was in tears.

"He kissed me!" She wailed, her head resting against Matt's shirt.

If she had looked up she would have seen Matt's look of shock before Melina stormed out of her hotel room, dressed in a fuzzy yellow bathrobe, fuzzy yellow flip-flops, a towel wrapped around her hair, and a mint green facial mask on her face.

"What is going on here?" Melina demanded to know as Matt gently nudged Austin towards Melina.

"Some strange man kissed me in my hotel room!" Austin wailed, Melina gasping as Jeff jogged back before stopping and resting his hands on his knees.

"Did you catch him?" Matt asked his younger brother as Jeff took several deep breathes before straightening and shaking his head.

"No, I didn't. But I caught a glance of him climbing into a red convertible before speeding away from the hotel." Jeff said as several more Diva's and wrestler's left their hotel rooms to find out why Austin was crying.

"I- I think that he thought that I was someone else." Austin hiccupped through tears, Natalie Neidhardt patting her on the shoulder.

"How do you figure?" Matt questioned.

"He- He told me that he knew that my favorite flowers were roses and that- That I liked maple candy and that I hated primates." Austin explained, her wails now quiet sobs.

"Hmm…" Jeff hummed in thought as Matt shook his head.

"I think you're right Austin." Matt said, Randy frowning behind Austin before smacking his closed fist into his open palm- Randy did that I mean, not Matt.

"We're going to figure out who did that if it's the last mystery we even think of trying to solve." Randy said with determination. "Now who's with me?!"

Everyone present raised their hands, including the Great Khali. Well- He couldn't raise his hand completely or else he would have touched the ceiling.

"Good! In the morning we start our investigation. For now we get Austin a different hotel room and we get hotel security to keep an eye out for a red convertible." Randy said, his blue eyes blazing.

* * *

**_Sorry about the lack of updates. Yes I am hyper. Yes I did quote Twilight. No I will not stop writing such strange stories. Review if you want, don't if you don't._**

**_Flamers will be ignored._**


	5. Chapter 6: Lights!

_**Disclaimer: OC's. I own them. That's it.**_

_**A/N: This chapter is a nonsensical bonus chapter, a moment in time that is not connected to the current storylines. Enjoy! :)**_

**_Happy 4th of July everyone. I hope you have a fun day. :)_**

* * *

For a short time when Austin worked someplace other than the writing department, she worked with the lighting department.

Her first day was a classic first day for Austin.

"Okay," Stone Cold Steve Austin said, standing backstage with Austin and several new crew members, "you've got your colored lights, fireworks, laser-lights, special lights, black lights, and regular lights. Get them up there." He pointed at something above them, and they all looked up.

"…That's way too high." Austin mumbled, nervously blinking.

"What did you say?" Steve asked, glaring at her like an angry teacher would.

Austin stood there, trembling in fear.

"Speak up!" He shouted like she hadn't heard him.

"…Too high…" She squeaked, the other new crew members now trembling in fear too.

Steve sighed, looking at the group. "It is _not_ too high. I'll prove it." He said, picking up a colored light and carrying it over to a cable hanging down from the ceiling.

"Now, you just…" Steve trailed off as the cable went up without the light. "Who's up there?" he shouted, making the cable stop before dropping down again.

The new crew members watched with wide-eyes, awed by whoever had the courage to stand up to him.

"Don't make me come up there and deal with you!" Steve shouted, shaking a beer can in the direction of the catwalk above their heads, while the cable went up again.

"This reminds me of my Kindergarten graduation." Austin said, turning away from the group and wandering over to one of the lights that sat in a crate, waiting to be unpacked.

It was the holy grail of lights. It had to be about a foot-and-a-half wide, weighed 30 lbs, and it was labeled "Do NOT touch!"

Now, because Austin grew up with two brothers who ignored those warnings, so did she. At least, most of the time she did.

This was one of those times.

"La la la…" She hummed, looking around before picking the light up and carrying it away.

Somehow she made it into catering, where all of the good stuff seemed to happen, before she had to put it down.

"I need to exercise more." She muttered, lifting it up again before running into someone.

"Um, redecorating catering?" The Big Show asked her.

She shrugged. "Steve said to get the lights up and…" _Think, THINK!_ "…That this one needed some work done on it." She replied calmly.

"Not that it was the holy grail of all the lights?" Big Show asked her. She shook her head quickly, looking like a scared little kid. "All right, but if anything blows up, Kane will be mad at me for not telling him."

"Got it." Austin said, scrambling away.

This time, she made it all the way to some small, back corner of the arena before getting to work on 'modifying' it. Somehow, she was going to make this light the best ever!

* * *

Forty five minutes later, a very lost Drew McIntyre found a very confused Barbie Blank sitting with a very angry Austin Roux.

"What are you two girls doing?" He asked them, crossing his arms.

Barbie shrugged and pointed at Austin. "Do NOT ask her to talk. She's-"

A long line of Creole, mostly filled with curses, started up before Austin pointed at the light and glared at it.

"You broke that light?" Drew asked her as Austin stood.

"Nyet," she mumbled before stomping her foot. "Oh, I wish my outlaw brother was here!"

Drew sputtered. "Outlaw?"

"Brother?" Barbie echoed, perking up. "Is he single?"

"Si." Austin said, nudging the light with the toe of her work boots. She didn't even notice that she was going from language to language. "I wanted to make this light the best one in the entire WWE, and I couldn't." Austin's shoulders slumped as tears formed in her eyes. "I failed!"

Drew snorted. "Hold this," he said, handing her his Intercontinental Championship before crouching in front of the light. "We're just going to have to work quickly, because the show is going to start soon. Barbie-"

"Yes?" Barbie fluttered her eyelashes at him.

"Why am I doing this?" He muttered before continuing. "I'm going to need hairspray, nail polish in black, and Triple H's sledge hammer. You…" He looked at Austin.

"Austin." She supplied.

"Austin, go get me a bottle of glitter, some duct tape, and one of John Cena's hats. Oh, and I need some of the rhinestones they use on John Morrison's coat." He added.

"Got it," she said as Barbie ran off. Turning, she was about to leave when she stopped. "Do you really think you can make this light the best?" She asked him.

Drew nodded. "But time is important. Hurry."

Austin nodded before running away.

Drew rolled up his sleeves as Sheamus walked by before stopping and back-tracking. "Drew? What are you doing here?"

"I haven't got a clue, but I have a feeling that I am about to become immortalized in the WWE's hall of shame." He said.

"Oh. Well, I gotta go. They said I'm too tan still." Sheamus said with a roll of his eyes.

Drew looked at him. Sheamus made the Cullen's seem tan. "What?"

"I know," Sheamus said before leaving.

* * *

Ten minutes later Austin was running down the halls of the arena with Drew and Barbie following her.

"There's the light!" Steve said, heading towards her. "What the-" He stopped and stared at it. "What did you do to it?"

"It was a group project," Barbie said, looping her arm through Drew's.

Steve sighed angrily before looking at Austin again. "I should have known you'd be trouble. Well, c'mon, let's get this light set up." He said.

Austin helped him get the light up before returning to the work station, watching the show roll to life.

"Has anyone seen my hat?" John Cena asked as he wondered around.

"No. Keep walking!" Steve snapped as Austin hit her forehead.

"Walking…" John kept going as Austin sighed before Edge's theme music hit.

"Press the button." Steve ordered into his com.

"Wait… The button?" Austin asked him.

"Yeah, for that light you were carrying around." Steve told her.

"NO!" Austin screamed, not wanting to ruin Edge's entrance. "DON'T PRESS THE BUTTON! IT-"

Too late.

Suddenly all the other lights cut out and THE light went off, descending from the ceiling. Edge looked up, confused, at the disco ball wearing a hat and dropping glitter everywhere.

"…ROUX!" Steve turned to scream at Austin, only to find her gone.

That was the LAST time Austin ever enjoyed worked in lighting. That was also the LAST time Steve trusted Austin with anything.

* * *

_I know, short and kind of silly, but I enjoyed writing it. Review if you like, don't if you don't. Flamers will be very much ignored._


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